{"id":80168,"date":"2012-10-08T10:46:31","date_gmt":"2012-10-08T15:46:31","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.dietsinreview.com\/diet_column\/?p=80168"},"modified":"2012-10-08T10:47:56","modified_gmt":"2012-10-08T15:47:56","slug":"working-out-as-a-couple-can-cause-relationship-friction","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/dietsinreview.com\/diet_column\/10\/working-out-as-a-couple-can-cause-relationship-friction\/","title":{"rendered":"Working Out as a Couple Can Cause Relationship Friction"},"content":{"rendered":"

As I stumbled into running in my mid-twenties, my husband followed me. However, for us this was a short lived commonality. The activity caused us stress and arguments. This isn’t unique to our marriage, it seems to happen in one form or another for many couples. They can\u2019t see eye to eye on fitness, or they can\u2019t manage to workout together. Yet, there are those few diamonds in the rough who manage to make it work. Here are three stories about couples and their relationships with fitness.\"\"<\/a><\/p>\n

Like I said, once upon a time, people would call both me and my husband \u201crunners<\/a><\/strong>.\u201d We ran races together, went for jogs together, and made plans for other big events. This was all fine and dandy when I was only running a few miles and doing so really slowly. My husband liked the challenge of beating me. Well, I got faster, I started going longer, and I guess somewhere along the way, my husband got disinterested. I\u2019d nag and he\u2019d oblige, but it just turned into a mess. I\u2019d push too fast and he\u2019d want to take breaks. Or he\u2019d want to slow down and I may have called him taunting names. (Oh, come on! You\u2019ve done it, too!)<\/p>\n

Long story short, my husband found out two things. One, he was now married to a marathoner who couldn\u2019t be stopped (I just finished the Chicago Marathon this past weekend). Two, he had no interest in running or even traditionally exercising. This was a recipe for conflict time and time again. If you could imagine, the marathoning wife doesn\u2019t take kindly to what she sees as a \u201clazy\u201d husband.<\/p>\n

We have had our rounds in the boxing match of disagreement, and I\u2019m sure we\u2019re not alone. However, today we\u2019re working on a much more peaceful plan. We agree that everyone needs exercise, but not everyone has to run or go to a gym<\/a><\/strong> to do it. He hears less from my chatter when he sticks to what he\u2019s found as practical exercise. He rides his bike to work, I run intervals on the river path. He stands on a balance board at a standing desk<\/a><\/strong> all day, I lift weights at the gym. I run track workouts, he planks on the floor. I go on long training runs on Saturday mornings, he takes the family on long bike rides on the weekend.<\/p>\n

No contest, I\u2019m the athlete in the family, but if the lab tests say we both have equally healthy hearts, we\u2019re both winning this race.<\/p>\n

For Abby and her husband JB, they\u2019ve managed to keep their passion for running and exercise a shared experience. Abby is a personal trainer, a run coach, and she\u2019s studying to be a doctor of physical therapy. She explained how her second date with JB was a ten-mile run, so from the beginning, fitness was a part of their relationship. Now, it\u2019s eight years later and this now-married couple lives and runs in New York City together on a regular basis. Though Abby admits it wasn\u2019t always smooth sailing.<\/p>\n

\u201cFor a very long time, we were lousy workout partners and always fought when we ran together,” she said. Abby explains how competitiveness made things hard for them, but now that there\u2019s an understanding that one of them might be faster they\u2019ve learned to love the experience.<\/p>\n

\u201cIt gives us time after work and school to catch up after very long days and a similar goal to work towards. It sure makes weekend planning easy! Long run and a nap every Saturday,\u201d she said.<\/p>\n

This \u201ctime to catch up\u201d also provided a stability for the couple when things got tough. As Abby explained, major issues like JB\u2019s military deployment, family illnesses and death, career changes, and even Abby\u2019s own health issues made things very hectic. She told me, \u201cRunning is the constant, something we do together that keeps us both healthy while we navigate our busy, and often times stressful, lives. It’s a place where we let go, together or alone, and figure things out.\u201d<\/p>\n

It\u2019s so great when a couple can either find a compromise or a solution. However, sometimes we don\u2019t always get there, or it takes a while to find that happy place.<\/p>\n

For newlyweds Jenn and Cole, things aren\u2019t totally settled on the workout front, just yet. Jenn is a personal trainer and said, \u201cI participate in anything that could remotely be considered fitness.\u201d From dance, yoga, road races, or fitness competitions, Jenn has made working out her life.<\/p>\n

Jenn explains that her career is also her hobby and she genuinely loves what she does. This also means she is heavily involved in the fitness world. She says she feels the statement, \u201cI can\u2019t, I have to be at the [health] club early tomorrow morning\u201d is overused by her and one of the stressors for the couple. She admits that when she and Cole bump heads about how much time she\u2019s spending in the gym, they both feel guilt.<\/p>\n

\u201cI am so blessed to have a job I truly love but my family comes first, so when we disagree about another activity I am involved in or the amount of voluntary hours I put in at the gym, I feel as if I should have considered the needs of our marriage first,” she said.<\/p>\n

However, Cole feels guilt when they don\u2019t see eye to eye either. \u201cThe guilt on his side comes from feeling selfish and inhibiting me to pursue growth in my profession.\u201d<\/p>\n

The young couple will celebrate one year of marriage this month and Jenn feels they\u2019ve learned a lot in these past twelve months. \u201cHealth and fitness is MY passion and I think it took a year of marriage to realize that it doesn\u2019t also have to be his.\u201d<\/p>\n

One way or another, couples can find their peace with this common battle. When it comes to keeping ourselves healthy and happy, it\u2019s more than just our strong cardiovascular health that counts. Good relationships need happy hearts, too.<\/p>\n

Also Read:<\/strong><\/p>\n

Running in to the Lucky One: Real Couples Who Fell in Love at the Gym<\/a><\/strong><\/p>\n

The Personal Ads: Finding Your Perfect Running Partner<\/a><\/strong><\/p>\n

True Stories of Parents Who Run with Their Children<\/a><\/strong><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

As I stumbled into running in my mid-twenties, my husband followed me. However, for us this was a short lived commonality. The activity caused us stress and arguments. This isn’t unique to our marriage, it seems to happen in one … Continue reading →<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":37,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[18],"tags":[1252,809,211],"class_list":["post-80168","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-fitness","tag-personal-trainer","tag-relationships","tag-running"],"acf":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/dietsinreview.com\/diet_column\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/80168","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/dietsinreview.com\/diet_column\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/dietsinreview.com\/diet_column\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/dietsinreview.com\/diet_column\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/37"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/dietsinreview.com\/diet_column\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=80168"}],"version-history":[{"count":4,"href":"https:\/\/dietsinreview.com\/diet_column\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/80168\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":80438,"href":"https:\/\/dietsinreview.com\/diet_column\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/80168\/revisions\/80438"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/dietsinreview.com\/diet_column\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=80168"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/dietsinreview.com\/diet_column\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=80168"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/dietsinreview.com\/diet_column\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=80168"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}