A lot goes in to a good sex life, and for women it can be more of a mind game with our conscience than anything else: Are my legs shaved? How’s my breath? Am I bloated? What’s he really think of my naked body? It’s common for women to over analyze things and want everything to be perfect to be “in the mood,” but that can be the biggest antagonist of them all.
We’ve got four weeks to get you ready for a romping good Valentine’s Day night. So follow these four key tasks our experts have identified to help you work on body image, toning, flexibility, and a little weight loss. There’s a good chance you’ll be the one wanting to skip dinner and head straight to the sheets…
We all have insecurities about our bodies, but realize how important a positive body image is for enhancing our sex lives.
“Even without changing your body, learning to love it (or parts of it) can do wonders for you in the bedroom,” says Brooke Randolph, LMHC, our resident mental health expert. “If you hate your body and want to hide it, it’s hard to really relax and be tuned into your partner and what you’re experiencing. When you feel good about yourself, you’re more likely to not only try to seduce your partner, but you’re more easily seduced by them as well.”
Try these sexy self-confidence boosters:
- Lingerie – Note what you do like about your body and choose lingerie that accentuates those parts. For the small chested, have a proper bra fitting to give your breasts a little “umph.” To draw attention to your legs, find a pair of bright and eye-catching stilettos. Comfort doesn’t matter, you won’t be on your feet long!
- Sex positions – Certain positions can highlight your best attributes and discretely hide the rest. If you’re shy about your belly or breasts, try the spooning position. He’ll be too close to see much and you’ll both feel every movement made.
We highly recommend improving your flexibility. After all, sex is nothing if not physical passion and wrapping body parts around one another.
“Fun positions and interesting twists will make the lovemaking plot thicken with excitement,” says our yoga expert Jill Lawson. “Open hips and loose legs can help prevent injury in the throes of passion. A limber body won’t tire out as quickly, and that means more energy in the bedroom.”
Try these yoga poses to prepare for romance:
- “Killer Hip Opener” – This stretch prepares you for the “Splitting Bamboo” position (him on top with one of your legs – or both – over his shoulder). Sit on the floor with legs in front of you and together. Bend the left knee so the left calf is on top of your right thigh. While flexing both feet, exhale and bend forward at the hips. Hold this for at least five deep breaths before repeating on the opposite side.
- “Hello” – This stretch will prepare for doggy style as you target the back of your legs while increasing strength in your pelvis. Stand with the feet about three-feet apart. Bend down at the hips in order to touch the floor. Once you’re there, walk your hands forward to a flat back. Finally, swing one arm to the ceiling and hold for at least five deep breaths before switching arms.
According to fitness professional Carol Dunlop, there are many reasons why a toned body leads to a better sex life, including confidence. “As a fitness professional, I’ve witnessed the increased confidence my clients acquire from getting in better shape,” said Dunlop. “I believe it has to do with control. When you start working on your body, you’re taking control. No longer are you on the side lines watching life go by, you’re now in the driver’s seat. For most people, being in the control of their own lives gives them loads of confidence.”
Use Crossift for a quick way to tone in the next four weeks. These are short, high-intensity workouts with functional movements, perfect for adding lean, toned muscle. Follow our Beginner’s Guide to Crossfit to get started.
“One of the side effects of a hard workout is stamina. Great sex takes hard work also, and you don’t want to slight yourself by being ‘less than’ in the bedroom.”
Weight slows a lot of people down in bed, because, “Obese individuals can have painful skeletal-muscular problems and low energy from sleep apnea, both of which can easily lower sexual desires,” says our resident dietitian, Mary Hartley, RD.
To lose weight by Valentine’s Day in a healthy way, try this:
- Paleo Diet – Natural foods in small portions throughout the day will jump your metabolism.
- Avoid processed foods and high-glycemic carbs that are full of excess calories
- Cut out alcohol to avoid a weight loss plateau and unnecessary empty calories.
- Drink water, and lots of it, and avoid the diet sodas and juices.
By losing weight, you’ll gain confidence, energy, and desire to initiate sex in the first place. You’ve got four weeks and, though that may seem like not very much time, if you commit to this like you do your love life you’ll notice marked improvement by cupid’s arrival!